What is his special skill?

“What is his special skill?!?” asks a perfect stranger with delight in their eyes upon hearing Z has Autism. Yes, this happens. A lot…

Think about it.. Who is the first person you think about when you hear the word Autism? Rain Man? Temple Grandin? Surfer Clay Marzo? Albert Einstein? Do you think about the countless movies and TV shows that portray an autistic character? What do all of these people have in common? They have all done extraordinary things and are quite memorable.

But what if I told you that you were not allowed to choose anyone famous? These days, I’m sure many of you have a relative that has been diagnosed. Or at the least you know someone that probably should be diagnosed. You’ve seen someone that just seemed “a little off.”

Now, let’s think about this. Why did your family member, friend, boy down the street not immediately jump to your mind? Are they not as remarkable? I would wager that you run into someone with Autism at least once a week in your daily life. And each and every one of them are remarkable.

But your mind will play a trick on you. Autism is considered to be a disability, a “less than” trait. And so we automatically sugarcoat it. Front and center are those that have proven that Autism has only made them greater. In the back of your mind is that kid that you saw melting down in the supermarket the other day. Any hardships associated with Autism can be whisked away by only looking at the shiniest coins in the bunch.

We all have our rose colored glasses. Some choose to wear them the majority of their day. Some keep them in the back of their drawer for a rainy day. Some broke them and haven’t gotten around to replacing them. But the truth is sometimes those dull pennies will shine right up with a little bit of effort.

So back to this “special skill”. What is so special about Autism? I think it is how they look at the world. Most of us are taught at a young age what everything should be, how everything should go, who everyone is. The sky is blue, the grass is green.. But what happens in the Autism brain is they just don’t accept that answer. They are here to look at the world in an entirely different way, to push the boundaries, to discover the world. There is no right answer. As non-flexible as they are with their daily routines, they have no limits to what they think the world can do. I can’t even count the number of times I have watched Z begin to do a task and think “No, not that way! That won’t work!” But if I sit back and allow him to work through it, he will usually come to the same conclusion (if not a better one) through his method.

You see, this is where the magic is. This is why there are those truly remarkable people with Autism that dominate our thoughts. If given the chance, those with Autism can make things happen in a whole new way. They truly can change the world. But too often they are forced to conform to the very truth they were built to ignore.

In the end though, I think the biggest skill they have is what they can teach others. Nothing in this world could have taught me the patience Z has taught me over the years. To celebrate the smallest things in life. Forget waiting for that promotion, that bigger house, faster car. Look at what you accomplish on a daily basis. Did you get dinner on the table by 6pm even though your day was slammed with work and appointments? Celebrate that! Did your jeans fit a little looser this morning? Celebrate that! I guarantee you will start to feel better with each and every day. Z has taught me to celebrate what is right in front of me versus what is a mile away.

He has taught me no matter how many times I fall down, I will eventually get back up. That it is okay to yell a profanity each time I fall down, to feel that emotion. Because right around the corner is the greatest feeling ever when you finally accomplish it. That it is okay to ask for help, to expect others to assist you, to sit back while someone else cooks you dinner. Because you are the king or queen of your world, don’t let anyone take that away from you! He has taught me to look at every soul as brand new without any preconceived notions. To look at what a person CAN do and not what they CAN’T.

TO LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO, NOT WHAT I CAN’T.

So I challenge each and every one of you. Be brave enough to look at things in a whole new way. We are ALL remarkable, we are ALL memorable, we ALL have special skills.

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