Zach is considered “non-verbal”. However, he does have about 15-20 words that he will initiate (mostly food). These are items that are highly motivating for him so he has figured out how to say them. There are also times, though, when he is clearly trying to communicate something but doesn’t know the word. He says the word as best he can with this desperate look and we do everything we can to figure it out.
To put this into a scenario you may understand. Imagine you are in another country that speaks a language you do not know. Now let’s say you are out for a tourist stroll and need to use the restroom. As you try and get help from the locals, how desperate will you become if no one can understand what you are trying to communicate? You get the idea…
The other day, Zach started saying a word over and over. Try as we might, we could not decipher what he was trying to say. We thought maybe he was saying “play” initially. Then he started adding syllables and other undetermined words. He was very focused and we all engaged each other trying to figure it out.
Then his Dad had a plan… Z broke ground earlier that week by responding to an inquiry via pen/paper and typing. So he started talking to Z about writing the word. Z was so focused and interested in the idea. He was keeping eye contact with a look of “please help me work this out”. Dad grabbed a pen and a nearby napkin and gave it to him.
Z immediately began writing. A.. I.. R.. P.. L.. E.. N.. E..
Airplane! He spelled Airplane! We didn’t even know he knew how to write that word! Our minds were blown.
Z was so happy when we said the correct word after he wrote it. Finally, we understood him. We were all ecstatic.
Now the hard work of trying to decipher what he wanted with the airplane. You see, Z only speaks in one word sentences. Nothing more. With food, it is pretty easy to know he wants to eat that item. What did he want with an airplane? Let the detective work begin..
His Dad thought Z was referring to a trip to Hawaii we took a couple years ago. He actually enjoyed the plane ride and enjoyed doing nothing on the beach for a week. I, on the other hand, figured there was a movie, toy, food, or product that may have an airplane on the packaging. Sometimes if he is trying to find something he will come up to me and say “Red” and it ends up being some item that was red. I tried that technique with this and would say “Yes, get the airplane!” If this was the right answer, he would go hunting for the item. I tried a lot of “Show me!” But he just stood there staring at me saying “Airplane” over and over. He has such a great memory that it could have been something from a year ago that he saw and wanted. A kid could have pinched him while a plane went overhead. It really could be anything.
We still haven’t fully figured out what he was referring to. We showed him pictures of our trip to Hawaii and he got super happy so that could have been it. We tried to explain that we will have to wait until Quarantine is over to do that again. He also started downloading apps about airplanes (flight simulators, flight trackers, etc). And he found videos on YouTube of airplanes taking off, flying in the air and landing. His speech therapist started using these videos during session as a “break” and it helped calm him. Perhaps he was just trying to communicate “I like airplanes!” and it wasn’t anything specific. Honestly, we may never know.
This is probably the first time, though, that he has understood and acted on communication through a non-verbal method (that had not been repeatedly practiced for months or years). This was his own desire to communicate, problem-solve, and be positive and happy about the process.
This is also a clear example of why he has so much anxiety when out in the world, especially if he is away from us. He could be worried about people not being able to understand him. Most people would not do as much detective work as we do to figure out what he is communicating and will simply move on. I am sure this happened a lot at school. He is living in a country that doesn’t speak his language and the locals do not know how to help.
Hopefully we have figured out a new method for communication. Who knows how many other words he would be willing to write. As with everything, we will continue to keep an open mind and let him guide us. Who ever said verbal language was the be-all-end-all of communication? There are so many forms and it is everyone’s responsibility to want to share with others even if it might take quite a bit of work.
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Tilted Axis 