Coming Up for Air

We are back!!!

I had to take a short hiatus (read: 2 1/2 years) from sharing our world. Things got super heavy and hard

The truth is I got overwhelmed. I look back at little ol’ me when K was first diagnosed and how I so flippantly said “we already have one with Autism, how hard could it be with two?”. Friends… Nothing could have prepared me for what we would go through.

I think as special needs families we have this unique power to slow blink through difficult times and suddenly come up for air after it passes. Perhaps this is a survival mechanism to keep us moving forward, always chasing that light at the end of the tunnel. Once we are through the hard times, we remain positive like it was “just a bump in the road” rather than wallowing in the shadows.

Trust me, we feel everything during it. It certainly does not feel like a slow blink while you are in it. We would love to turn off and go on auto-pilot. But just like we expect our special kids to do, we simply put one foot in front of the other. We live in the moment. We do not consider what we are missing out on because our entire world is right in front of us.

For 2 1/2 years, we struggled. We rarely left the house (never as an entire family). We did not go on any vacations, did not have any parties, lost touch with many of our friends and family.

It’s the bubble we have to remain in at times. For our own sanity, our own safety and mostly for our family.

I have often said Autism can be a lonely journey. At times I feel like I am walking with crutches while everyone else is on a travelator next to me, racing to their next adventure. I often have to take a step back in the “real world” to deal with our “special world”. Texts go unanswered, social media is rarely opened, invites are declined.

And the reality of it is that during these times, we need more support, not less. I am happy to share our journey in order to educate and advocate. But in the bubble, you lose track of the purpose. Each time I opened my blog to share something that was occurring, this little voice would say “It’s too much for them.” When really it was too much for me. I did not want to relive what was happening. Or ruin your day or prove how hard this is. Speaking it into existence would give it life. I wanted to put it all behind me.

But we need to pop the bubble. We need to share the low low down just as much as the successes. To allow others to join on the path, to jump off the travelator and walk beside you, to change their mindset on families like ours and to give voice to the struggles.

So we’re back. We are popping the bubble. We are coming up for air. We all have changed so much in this short time and I am so excited to share the new “us” with you.

Each mountain we climb helps us be ready for the next. Each “are we going to get through this” teaches us the answer is “YES”. Breaking down each roadblock gives us knowledge to break down the next. Each low proves there are more highs. And each “share” is welcoming all of you with open arms.

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